Of Stars and Superstitions
by sevencharms
Summary: "The probability of success is difficult to estimate; but if we never search the chance of success is zero." —Giuseppe Cocconi & Philip Morrison
1. Particles

Stars have always meant something to me. A lot more than people might think. There are people who think space is cool. There are people who want to be astronauts. People who want to explore the galaxy, who want to see more than twinkling specks in the sky. At one point, I'm pretty sure I thought I was one of those kinds of people. Maybe I still am. But if I had a choice, to explore outer-space or to stare at the stars from millions of miles away, I'd chose to stay here. Not because of what I'd be leaving behind- friends, family, anything that'd be sad if I were to just ascend into space one day without any warning. I would stay here because there is so much more to experience.

In space, I'd still be seeing the same stars. With more clarity, probably, but it's still all the same stuff. I can see what I want to see from here. I don't have much interest in getting close to giant balls of fuming gas, either. They're far away for a reason. And what's close to me is close for a reason, too. For instance, there aren't any Taco Bells with Nachos Bellgrande's out in space. And neither is my guinea pig.

I'm a simple, boring person, and I like simple, boring things. I'd rather stay here and enjoy stupid shit like videotaping Stripe while eating nachos. It doesn't mean I wouldn't be outside on the porch of my house tonight looking at the sky like I did every night. Though tonight I'm more compelled to stand outside in below-freezing weather and stare into nowhere than I normally would be.

The Quadrantids. They're the first meteor showers of the year- of every year. Yesterday was the first day you could really see them in the sky. Tonight and tomorrow night is the peak of the showers. I'm sort of a sucker for shooting stars.

"Hey, do you wanna watch the showers with me tonight?" Stripe made a small but audible squeak when I spoke. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you buddy." I stared at him through the camcorder sitting on my chest as he crawled around my stomach.

 _ **[16:49 PM January 2nd, 2016]**_

"You can't actually go outside, though. It's too cold for you." It was Saturday, nearly 5 PM in the afternoon on the 2nd of January, and I was laying in bed eating greasy food, thinking about stars, and wasting my time away playing with my pet. A usual day. Stripe crawled further up my stomach, closing in on the lens of my camera.

"Don't smudge the lens again." I said, a little more threatening than I should have been towards an animal that's the size of my hand and has the brain capacity of a walnut. But I'd be damned if he made me clean my camera again.

Yet he inched closer to the lens.

"Don't." I dared to pick him up.

He got as close as an inch away from the camera before my phone went off beside me, the noise causing him jerk back and lose interest in the camera.

I glanced over to my phone without turning my head. I stopped the recording on my camera and put it on my nightstand. Shifting up, I picked Stripe up and got up from my bed. My phone was still ringing as I gently placed him back into his cage, securing it behind him.

Letting out a quiet sigh as my phone had yet to cease thirty seconds later, I waltzed back over to my bed and picked up my phone.

I hit answer. "What." I already knew who it was.

"HEY DUDE!" Clyde's inability to control his own volume over the phone is something I had become accustomed to. That, or I'd gone deaf enough to where it didn't bother me anymore. "Get your ass over here!" Even before I could flop back down onto my bed, he'd already asked me to hang out.

"I'm eating nachos." Probably not the best excuse, considering who it was I was talking to.

"Bring those over, too! I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat at my house." There's never been any way of escaping Clyde's demands. When I would refuse, I'd be baraged by an hour of complaints over the phone. If I hang up the phone, many, many more follow suit afterwards. When I would think he'd given up on calling, he would usually already at my house, and that means I'd have to wait for HIM to go home instead. So I acquiesced.

"Is Token there too?" I asked. Token's the middle ground between us three. Clyde's the one who's always up for anything. I'm the one who's never up for anything. Token's the one who knows what's actually worth doing and what's not. Without him, Clyde would probably be dead and I would never leave my house.

"Why would I invite you over to my house if he wasn't here too?" Clyde knows that too.

Lucky for him but unfortunately for me, I'm not doing anything important and I don't mind socializing for a bit. I tell him I'll be over in five, and that he'll be eating cold, half-eaten nachos for dinner. He seemed okay with that.

After throwing on my hat and some shoes, I grabbed my nachos and headed for Clyde's house. On my way out, I made sure to give Stripe some extra kibble to make up for ending playtime so early.

Clyde only lives a block away from me, but I still decided to drive there instead of walk. Plus, knowing him, he would have probably tried to get us all to go somewhere else within the hour, and he never bothered to learn how to drive. Token knows how, but he prefers walking to driving, so the only one with a car would be me.

You'd think that'd be an incentive to walk instead, so there'd be no way to go anywhere and we'd just hang out together for a couple of hours like normal kids, but Clyde could drag us for miles on foot to get to where he wants to go. It's just easier this way. If I'm going to be dragged into something I don't want to do, I might as well make it easier for myself. I also didn't bother to change into clothing more suited for this time of year and only had sweatpants and a t-shirt on, so walking a block in the dark with snow was something I'd prefer to avoid.

After a quiet two minute drive, I found myself in front of Clyde's house. Pulling the nachos from the passenger seat, I hopped out and made my way inside almost immediately. I don't ever need to knock when it comes to Clyde's house. His dad's so used to having both Token and I over that it's just less annoying for everyone involved to let ourselves in.

When I entered, I found Clyde's dad slaving away in the kitchen. Well, I didn't actually see him, but I could sure smell it. Which also meant Clyde had been lying that there wasn't anything to eat here, because he'll eat anything. He was just being a lazy scumbag again.

"Hey, Roger." I shouted as I closed the front door. Clyde's dad is cool, in all honesty. Not someone I'd hang out with, but still cool. I've taken to calling him by his first name long ago, since "Mr. Donovan" was more of a mouthful.

"I guess I'm making enough for four, then?" He poked his head through the kitchen doorway just as I was heading up the stairs. I shook my head and held up the box of nachos in my hand.

"Taco Bell nachos are not going to hold you over for the night, Craig." I shrugged without a word, and continued up the stairs. Like father like son, defying his demands would only result in wasted time. Instead of complaining, though, I'd get a scolding. I won't complain, though. Clyde's dad is a pretty good cook.

Clyde's door is the first door to the right when you get to the top of the stairs. You don't need to be told this, because the front of his door is dressed in several posters and torn out pages from magazines- all of which are from bikini magazines. I don't think he's ever realized that you're supposed to decorate the inside of your door, not the outside. Poor Roger.

When I walked into his room, I was suddenly attacked by loud, high pitched party horns on either side of me.

I wasn't expecting it, but I didn't flinch. I never do. Token and Clyde always try to get me to flinch, but they can never do it. I lost count of how many times they've tried, all I know is that almost every time they do, I have to remind them that it'll never work. Ever.

"Aww, man!" Token looked genuinely disappointed. He always does. He tries to scare me because he feels like it's a challenge. He's not an asshole who does it for fun. Not like Clyde. So I didn't give him a death glare.

"I know you were scared! I could tell. Just because you didn't jump doesn't mean you weren't scared!" Clyde, party horn in mouth, lunged at me and the nachos in my hand. I held him back with my other hand and gave him a stare.

"Don't choose now to be a sourpuss, seriously." His face quickly changed from his usual giddy and mischievous expression to a more exasperated one.

Token was about to jump to his side and tell me to lighten up, I could see it in him. So before he could, I turned the box of nachos upside down, purposefully spilling all it's contents onto the floor. Clyde's ever expressive face changed yet again. This time his expression was akin to someone who'd just witnessed a car accident. One where the car was full of puppies and kittens and other small, cute animals.

I turned to Token for a moment, who looked nothing but unsurprised by what just happened. He's too used to me. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. Without giving either of them another glance, I stepped over the mess I had created and made straight for Clyde's bed.

"But... You promised me a cold, half-eaten bellgrande..." I didn't have to look over to know that he was kneeling on the ground, ready to cry all over his once-promised nacho dinner.

"It's still cold and half-eaten, nothing's changed." I spoke up finally, as I climbed onto the middle of his bed and made myself comfortable.

A moment of silence took place before Clyde finally spoke up, "You're right."

This is when I couldn't not look back. Those words could only mean exactly what it sounded like. He started to eat them off of the floor.

"Gross, dude." Token shook his head in the direction of Clyde before making his way over to the edge of Clyde's bed, where the designated "gaming beanbags" sat. One was red and the other was blue. The rule for playing games in Clyde's room was that whoever got to the red beanbag first was player one. It's a dumb rule, because most of the time it doesn't matter what player you are in most of the games we play, but Clyde's a pretty dumb person.

"It just crossed my mind to ask you guys why the hell you have party horns." I guess I'm a pretty dumb person, too. It'd only been a couple of days since-

"New Years." New years, Token said. Clyde always throws a mini party for any holiday or occasion, meaning party horns galore. I say mini party because if he let anymore than ten people into this house his dad would probably have a fit. "If you'd gone to Clyde's party, you would've known."

"Too bad for you, you'd never catch me dead at one of Clyde's 'parties.'" I retorted.

"You never go to anything social. Sometimes it's hard enough to get you to hang out with just _us_." Exactly. I've never liked hanging out with a bunch of people. I'm a one to two person kind of guy. "You wanna play?"

I took a glance forward from the bed to see that his television was on, and there was a paused game of Halo 5 on the screen. Of course they were playing Halo. Dropping all subjects, I looked back over to Clyde to see him eating off of the floor with no regret.

"You know your dad's making dinner, right? He's not going to care that you're too much of a lazy bastard to go downstairs and that you're eating floor nachos." I said, leaning down from the bed and stealing Clyde's controller from his beanbag. Token resumed the game that he had originally been playing with Clyde.

"It's only half of a grande, I'll have room for more." Clyde was already finishing up.

"Do you ever run out of room?" Token said, trained on the TV.

Clyde slugged over to our side of the room and sat back down on his beanbag. He had stepped in front of Token and I to do it, causing Token to flub and die. Token isn't like me. I get competitive when it comes to video games. If I had fucked up there instead just then, I'd have Clyde's ass. Token, on the other hand, just rolls with it.

"How were your splooge nachos?" I half-mindedly mumbled, already too focused on what was happening in the game.

"Splooge nachos?" Clyde asked.

"You're a lying piece of shit if you claim that every square inch of this room _isn't_ covered in jizz. Yours or otherwise." I started to stick my tongue out in concentration.

"Who's else would it be?" Clyde was setting himself up for the biggest smack down of his life at this point.

"Kevin's, probably." Token chuckled. A loud thump expelled from the bed as Clyde threw his head back in annoyance, hitting the frame of the bed. "Jesus, dude. Don't give yourself a concussion."

"You guys hate it when I hang out with anyone besides you! Screw both of you, you're just jealous that Kevin is cool and you aren't." That wasn't true. I couldn't care less about who he was hanging out with. He has already committed most of his life hanging out with Token and I- which was, according to some, a low. "He doesn't make stupid dick jokes like _you_ simpletons. His sense of humor is more complex and cool and awesome and generally just better than you guys." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, really. He always talks like this.

"Uh huh. I'm sure that's what you tell him while his dick is halfway up your ass, too." Token was on a roll already. I wondered if he was already dissing Clyde before I got here. I hope so, because it just means Clyde would eventually get sick of our combined shit faster and tell us to go. "It's okay if you're gay, Clyde. Neither of us will judge you."

"I'm not gay! I have a _girlfriend-_ " A collective groan on Token and I's part cut Clyde off before he could continue his inevitable spiel. The game had ended half a minute ago, leaving me to drop the controller in dramatic effect and plant my face into the bed sheets.

" _We know you have a girlfriend._ You talk about having a girlfriend every time we hang out." I groaned through the bed.

"It's a different girl every time, too!" Token added. He's right. Clyde gets around. How far he actually gets with a girl though... that's up for debate.

"Sorry, I can't contain myself. Everyone deserves a slice of the Donoman." Clyde said.

"No, you just get dumped every other week because all you want to do is take them out to dinner and hope you're able to score one in." Token retorted, climbing up onto the bed. I sat back up to give him his room.

"I don't know how you do it, Clyde." I stare down at him.

"Do what? Get dumped?" He stared back with more confusion than I expected.

"No, how you get all of the ladies." I tried to muster up a face of sincerity. I failed. "Because your idea of a dinner date is probably something along the lines of sitting on top of a dumpster eating City Teriyaki takeout that you found, you semen-covered nacho eater."

"Wait, is Clyde the one covered in semen or is it still the nachos?" Token cocked his head.

"Why not both." I gave a solid confirmation. Clyde seemed like he had enough of this and he shot up from his beanbag.

"You guys are bullies!" He pointed at both of us in an accusing manner. We both know he was mostly joking. This happens all the time. It's how we joke around. "I'll have you know that when I take girls out to dinner, I only take them to the HIGHEST of quality restaurants in town! So hah!"

"McDonalds?" I asked. Clyde was quick to deny.

"I've never seen you eat at anything more high-class than an IHOP before, Clyde. And it was by yourself." Clyde gave both of us glares after Token's comment.

Token tittered, "Is that where you draw the line in this conversation? One-man IHOP dates?"

"You guys are really after me tonight, geez." There it was. Clyde was never a fighter. He's persistent, but if it means arguing or exerting any sort of major mental effort, he'll give up in a heart beat. So he flopped back down onto his beanbag at last.

"We're just giving you a hard time, man. You know we're playing around." Token leaned over to Clyde and gave him a playful punch on his shoulder.

"Not to mention you're pretty easy to fuck with." I similarly gave Clyde a tap to the shoulder, though mine was rougher. On purpose, of course. I didn't mean anything by it, it's just fun to mess with Clyde. He only whined in response as he sunk down lower into the beanbag.

"We're all fun to mess with." Token quickly tried to dismiss my comment, because we both knew if either of us took it any further after Clyde whined, we'd be in for an hour more of it. We've both become very crafted at the skill of making fun of Clyde. We know our limits.

"Psh, yeah right." Clyde's whining crisis: averted. "Token, you've had a girlfriend for like six or seven years now. The _same_ girlfriend." He climbed up off of the beanbag and onto the bed, sandwiching his way in between us.

"Eight." Token corrected. Clyde made a grunt of disdain. "If you want tips on how to maintain a relationship, I can teach you. It starts with actually giving a shit once in a while about the girl." Token with the ultimate sass today.

"Damn, Token."

"Oh, shut up." Clyde spat at me. Not literally, of course. If he did that I'd have to sock him in the gut. "You've never even dated anybody before, you don't know what it's like."

"It just sounds like an unnecessary obligation to me. I'm fine on my own. Like a lone wolf." I leaned back against the wall behind the bed and crossed my arms behind my head. Clyde rolled his eyes at me.

"You know, it shocks me." He said. "You're eighteen and you've never even kissed a chick. Not even a kiss on the cheek. You're missing out on life, man." Clyde also decided to lean back against the wall. Token soon followed suit.

"If I felt like I needed to go and kiss somebody, I'd do it." I responded. Token chuckled from the other side of the fleshy wall that is Clyde.

"So why haven't you?" Token asked.

"I don't feel like it." The answer was simple. I've never had a girlfriend and I've never kissed anyone. Hell, I've never even held hands with anybody. Unless you count that one time during that field trip in the fourth grade. That buddy-buddy bullcrap wasn't necessary, but I'd rather hold hands than listen to our teacher yell at us. But in all, I've never felt like going out with anyone. And that was that.

"Have you ever had a crush, even?" Clyde shuffled around between us. We were sitting long-ways on the bed so there was plenty of room for space, but we all ended up mostly smushed together, shoulder to shoulder.

"Nope." Sometimes I don't think I'm able to like people. I can admit that I'm an asshole and that I hate _a lot_ of people, but even I find it weird that I've never liked someone before. Maybe I'm just destined to be alone. If that were true, I'd accept it. Like I said, it seems like more of a responsibility than an actual connection.

"We need to get you out more, Craig." This meant Token wanted to take us- me, to a party. No. "You've got to find SOMEONE you like." Not happening. "I don't even really mean that you should get a girlfriend. I think you just need to know more people."

"That's what school is for." We were all in our senior year of high school. Most of the people going to said high school were ones I'd known for most of my childhood. I had long since decided who I hated and who I would hang out with. There was only 200 people tops in our school, and I'd like to think 200 people is enough for me to sort through. I didn't need to meet new people.

And there was only half of a school year left before high school is over. Which meant I wouldn't have to deal with anyone I hate ever again. There aren't any colleges in South Park, which means we would have to go to out-of-town colleges. So it was a pretty safe bet to assume that I wouldn't be talking to them in school anymore after the school year. Thank god.

"New people, new opportunities, dude." Almost as if he had read my mind, Clyde jumped to Token's defense.

And then he gasped.

Clyde gasping is a telltale sign for one of two things: He has a stupid idea, or he had a _stupid_ idea. Just hearing the noise made my body tense up. I can never prepare myself for the stupidity that comes out of Clyde Donovan's mouth.

"KENNY AND SOME OF HIS FRIENDS ARE THROWING A PARTY AT-" Was all Clyde said before I intervened with a big "no."

"BUT IT'S OUTSIDE OF TOWN! Not that far from here, don't worry, AND IT'S HAPPENING TOMORROW! WE SHOULD ALL GO-" He continued to yammer, and so I cut him off again. This time with a "fuck off, I'm not going."

"Aw man, why didn't you tell me sooner? I wanna go!" Token had succumbed to Clyde's hype. I refused to be a part of it.

"There's nothing stopping you! We're all gonna go! I'm going to text Kenny right now letting him know you'll both be there tomorrow!" Clyde was suddenly squealing like a thirteen year old girl meeting her favorite rock star in person. Which was to say, very loudly.

"I'm not going." I said a second time. Clyde was already on his phone, typing away.

"Come on, it'll be fun." God dammit. If Token thinks it's a good idea, there's no way Clyde's going to let this up. "I already know you're going to try to get out of this, but seriously, you need to get out more."

"I don't like people, Token. You know this." If there was any sense of patience left in my voice before, it was gone at that point. The two guys who know me best, who I call my best friends, always pin me up to these sorts of things. I end up getting out of them every time, making sure they suffer later for their attempts, and I wasn't going to make an exception here.

"I know you don't. You can just hang out in a corner or something. You just need to get out for a night." It already takes enough effort to meet up with him and Clyde, why would he think I'd want to meet up with a bunch of hicks I had never seen before?

"Maybe someone will see you and try to talk to you! Accidental friendships are always the most interesting." Clyde put down his phone after including his unnecessary comment to the subject. "Kenny already texted back, by the way. He says there's a two dollar admission fee."

"Why the hell is there a two dollar fee for some sketch-ass party outside of town?" I sat up. Somehow the most unappealing social event in the world just became even less appealing.

"It's Kenny we're talking about here. He's probably trying to make up for lost cash." What Token suggested wasn't completely out of the question. Kenny probably payed out the ass for cheap booze and weed, like he always does for these types of things.

"I'm going to burn any cash I have on me tonight." You'd think I was joking, but I've burnt money before to get out of situations just like this.

"Then I'll just pay for you." Even if admission cost a thousand bucks, Token would probably still pay for me. Normally having a rich best friend would be fortunate, but in this case it was far from so.

"Have fun pulling me out of my room after I lock it tonight, because I'm not going to any goddamn party. Especially not one Kenny's throwing." I pulled myself out of the shoulder-rubbing buddyfest and climbed off the bed.

Clyde and Token gave me a look like they didn't believe it would take much to get me to go. Sometimes I wonder if I've got the most insane friends in the world, or I'm just that bad at expressing emotion. It feels like any time I argue, I'm just some monotone babbling idiot. It doesn't give them an excuse to push me into some shady party outside of town.

"That won't work because I already know your door doesn't have a lock on it!" Clyde's been over to my house (along with Token, of course) far too many times to count, just as we've been over to his and he and I have been to Tokens.

"Not if I install a lock tonight."

"How are you going to explain installing a lock on your door to your parents?" Token asked.

"It's not like they give a rats ass about me enough to try and get into my room." They really don't. The only time I hear from my parents is when they're yelling at me for skipping school. Any other time we communicate solely with our middle fingers.

"Aw man..." Clyde's always a softy when it comes to parental figures. He believes that all parents should be loving and caring and nothing less. Which, I mean, his dad is on point with that. When someone's parents aren't like that, though, he feels the need to help. Probably has something to do with his mom being a total bitch before and after death.

"Don't worry, we'll be your new parents, Craig." Token spoke for Clyde in this instance.

"Yeah! First rule as your new parents: No locks on your door." Clyde looked like he had just made the best comeback of the century.

"You guys can try to do whatever you want. But I'm the only one with a car. Good luck getting there without me." Clyde practically relies on me when it comes to going out anywhere more than a mile away from his house. I never mind, it's not like I'm really doing anything. That's how I like to keep it, too. Never doing anything. That means no fucking parties.

"Ah-ah, Craig. I have a car now, too." Hearing the words "I have a car" from Token felt like somebody had just stabbed me.

"Since when?" The last time I checked, he'd rather go without one. He could always afford one, that rich son of a bitch, but he's some low key hippie that always prefers walking to driving.

"Since yesterday, dude!" Clyde knew too? If they had told me before this conversation I would have been more interested. Now, though, it just feels like they were planning this all along.

"Yeah. The college I plan on going to next year is too far to walk to every day. Plus, I've been going out to more parties lately." Token admitted.

"Hopefully we can get Craig the Antisocial Hermit Crab to go to more parties, too." Clyde added.

"I'm going to stop tiptoeing around this, even though I've already said this three times already- I'm not going." If I knew half of an hour ago that this is what I was going to have to deal with, I would have rather listened to Clyde whine about me not coming over.

I headed for the door to see myself out of whatever they're trying to pull here.

"Craig, come on! You never do anything. Just this once?" Token pleaded from across the room. I put my hand on the doorknob. There was nothing in the world that would have stopped me from turning that handle. Nothing, except for what Clyde said next.

"It's a meteor shower party! You love space and shit!" Clyde said his words with such abruptness, almost like he thought I wasn't ever going to talk to him again if he didn't.

And so I froze. And considered what a party for something I could see right outside of my window would have to offer.

"Like I said, it's outside of town! There's no town lights around so you can see the night sky like, super duper well. That's why it's so far out in the first place." I'm sure Clyde could hear the gears furiously turning in my head as I weighed the pros and cons.

The pros? A clearer view. I wouldn't have to listen to my family's muffled arguing from the porch. I guess it would be worth it, if not for the never ending list of cons. Too many people, not worth the socialization. The cheap food Kenny would most likely serve? I could get more quality from a TV dinner. There would also be drunken idiots left and right, no doubt. Hell, the fact that Kenny's the one that's throwing it is a con by itself.

"There won't be a lot of people, Kenny said like, maybe a hundred max." Clyde's attempts were faltering. One hundred is about ninety-nine too many.

"Dude, hear how hard Clyde's trying to get you to go. One time? Please?" Token was begging, too.

Now I was just trying to think of a way to get out of it. Because now I'd just be an even bigger asshole than usual if I said no. I didn't have any plans, though. No school, no appointments, and I don't work on Sundays. I could say church, but they'd never believe that. I wouldn't even believe myself.

So I gave up. They won. I let out a sigh and let go of the handle. I didn't even need to look behind me to know that they were about to high five each other.

"YES!" Clyde shouted, as a very audible clap rang through the room. There was the high five.

I turned back around. Without thinking, I power walked back over to the bed and gave Clyde a threatening stare. "I swear to God if this sucks more than I already know it will, it's going to hurt more the next time."

"What's going to hurt-" Clyde's question got cut short after I punched him in the arm. He let out a small yelp.

As Clyde suddenly teared up from pain, I turned to Token, who almost flinched when we locked eyes. "And you're driving me there. I'm not going to waste money on gas for something stupid."

"I figured." A small part of myself wished that Token would deny me a ride after I'd just punched Clyde, just so I could have a reason to say no again. But he didn't, because he's too nice.

I let out a second sigh as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"That really hurt..." Clyde's voice cracked from behind me. I could hear how hard he was trying to not cry. I know for a fact that I didn't punch him hard enough to warrant crying.

Before our endless chitchat could continue, Clyde's dad had knocked on the door. "I made dinner, boys. Come downstairs."

Any trace of nearly crying in front of his two best friends vanished as Clyde jumped up and off of his bed. Token got up, too.

"Finally, I'm so hungry!" Clyde burst through his door as Token followed suit. I didn't get up right away. I had to take a quick second to let myself cool down. I couldn't believe I let them talk me into going to a party. It'd be a waste of time, I was sure of it. There would be people I knew there, knowing who was throwing the whole thing. I'd get a lot of head turns just for stepping foot into whatever abandoned shack of a house it was going to take place in. It was going to suck.

I sat up after I heard Clyde's dad call for me a second time. I hoped Roger's cooking would get my mind off of how terrible tomorrow was going to be as I made my way out of the room, and downstairs.

 _ **[11:50 AM January 3rd, 2016]**_

Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. I almost feel like vibrating phones are more annoying than ringing phones. Without opening my eyes, I run my hand up and down the length of my bed, trying to find the source of the aforementioned buzzing. Once I found it, years of reflex have taught me to find the answer button without a glance. I raised it to my head, not bothering with a greeting.

"It's almost noon! We TOLD you we were going to pick you up early today, dude! We've been waiting outside for twenty minutes now. Are you still asleep? Oh my god, Token, I think he's still asleep. Are we going to have to go in there and dress him up too? WE'RE ON A SCHEDULE HERE, CRAIG!" I barely processed what Clyde was saying before he said "We're coming in."

"No. I'll be out in five." I muttered. I'm not sure he understood me. Or heard me at all. Because he had already hung up. Fuck me.

I tossed my phone back down onto the bed. Why did I agree to this? I could have slept in like I normally do.

Throwing an arm over my face and emitting the familiar, painful groan of having being woken up too early, I shoved my covers off to the end of my bed, but continued to lie there. It was too early for my body to want to work.

I was still trying to think of good reasons to go to this party. I really was. I am not an optimistic person. It's really hard for me to see the bright sides of having to do shit I don't want to do. But if I complain too much, I'm no better than Clyde. And nobody wants to be Clyde.

There was thumping from downstairs, getting gradually louder as seconds passed. They were already coming up. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before opening them, immediately being blinded by what little natural light came through my window's blinds. And then by the beaming hallway light coming from the other side of the room as my door flung open.

"No locks, huh? I guess you really did want to go." Token walked in, Clyde following close behind. "How do you sleep in so late all the time?"

"I don't sleep well, so I take what I can get." I shifted to the edge of my bed. I've always dealt with sleeping problems. I don't know if I could consider it insomnia, though. I just rarely find myself sleeping for more than an hour at a time, waking up all through out the night. I've gotten used to it, though. I barely notice it anymore.

Clyde came walking up next to Token, who was standing in front of me with a face of disapproval. "Aw, look at that!" Clyde gestured at me.

"What?" Token asked.

"What kind of chick wouldn't want that? Craig, you don't know how hard you could score with how you look." I sleep in nothing but boxers, so they both got a good display of my bony ass torso. Sure, I'm lean, but I doubt girls would want to be embraced by the death trap that is my rib cage.

"For someone who eats a lot of junk food, your body sure doesn't know how to put on weight." Token finished his glares of disappointment and walked off to my closet. Normally I'd snap the fingers of anyone who touched anything in my room, but Token and Clyde have woken me up like this before. They know the drill. And so do I. Today I was getting dressed by Token.

"Why are you guys picking me up so early?" I yawned, running a hand through my hair before grabbing my hat from my nightstand and putting it on.

"We already went over this last night." Clyde said as Token threw a shirt at him. He picked it up and held it in front of him. It was one of the only decent shirts I had. A blue button up. I remembered wearing nothing but shirts like that when I was younger. Every one in my town wore the same stuff every day back when I was younger, so I was dressed accordingly as well. It was a weird time. I never questioned it, though. Just like I don't question anything strange that happens in this town.

Thankfully, before I started thinking too much about this fuck up of a town, I got knocked right back to the topic at hand by Clyde, who threw the shirt directly onto my head.

"Right. You two wanted to hang out with me all day so you could watch my extended suffering." I'll admit that at this point, I was being a bit of a drama queen. But who cares? I didn't. I was going to make this as annoying and as miserable for them as I could without directly objecting to go.

"No, we need to go to the town over and gas up." Token walked back up with a pair of black skinny jeans. What else would he bring over? Nothing. Because I don't have anything besides them.

"Curse this town for being so small." Clyde said, clutching his fist. Token handed me the pair of pants. It was only now that I decided to start putting on the clothes they were giving me.

"Also, we're picking up Bebe, 'cause Clyde wanted to-" Token got cut off by Clyde shouting "NO NOT ANYMORE!" Token snapped his head towards Clyde, puzzled.

"Bebe and I broke up." Clyde looked somewhat forlorn.

"You were just talking about how you had a girlfriend last night." Token didn't need to remind me. After we had finished dinner and went back upstairs, it's all he talked about. About how Bebe's fun and cute, about how he and Bebe had "totally made out" a few days back, about how Bebe has rocking tits. Name any topic about Bebe and he probably went over it last night.

"Yeah..." Clyde huffed. "Remember all of that cool stuff I told you about her last night?"

"What, about how she's 'got an ass like so fine it cuts through chairs?' Or about how 'her boobs are like two watermelons waiting for you to eat them up?'" It's always refreshing to start the day as snarky as possible.

"Yeah! All of that hot stuff! I was telling her that kind of stuff over the phone after you guys left, because I thought they were pretty clever. But then she got mad and broke up with me, just like that!" Clyde can be so, so stupid. Words cannot express how utterly dead that man's brain is. "I don't know why!"

"Did you mention the bit where you said, and I quote, 'she's got a gine just waiting for that mad dine?' Because if you did, I think I know where you messed up." Never have I seen Token more disappointed in Clyde.

"God, I forgot about that." I finished shimmying all of my clothes on, including a pair of socks that were lying on the floor next to my bed.

"Screw both of you guys. I'm a free man, now. I'm gonna pick up somebody new who loves me for me while we're at this party." Clyde crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at both of us.

"So," I said, trying to change the topic from Clyde's terrible love life, "you guys needed to wake me up at noon so we could gas up in time for a party that takes place at night time. You know, the time when it's dark. Which isn't for... four more hours." Winter time's a bitch.

"It's gonna take an hour to get there, probably." Clyde dropped his arms back to his sides.

"Okay, hold on. You didn't tell me it was an hour away. I'm not going to sit in a car with you and Token singing along to Hotline Bling on repeat for an hour." It's all they ever do. They'd rather fuck Drake than a girl when it came to that song.

"Just because we sing it a lot doesn't mean we're only going to sing that on the car trip." Token intervened my sudden anger. "We'll listen to Ex's and Oh's too." he chuckled.

"You might as well knock me out before you start the ride there." I cannot express my hatred for pop songs. Maybe it's because they're so popular and so you hear them everywhere all the time, or maybe it's just because they're all so generic. I don't listen to a lot of music, but when I do, it's usually something, you know, good.

"Alright, get your shoes on! We need to get going." Clyde ordered, leaving my room in a flash.

I got up and stumbled over to the other side of my room. Token was still there, watching me. "You don't need to stare at me while I feed my guinea pig. It's not like I'm going to go back to sleep now."

"Hate to break it to you, dude, but you're you. You'd probably fall asleep the instant I stepped outside of this room." Token and Clyde really weren't letting up on this whole ordeal. Even though I desperately wanted a reason to bail, I wasn't going to be a complete jackass and ditch them last second.

"I wish it was just that easy with you two." I tossed two meals worth of kibble in for Stripe and leaned down face-level with his cage. "If you eat all of this right away you're going to be starving by tonight, you fat pig. Take it easy." I sat there and glared at him for a few, as he glared back at me. He eventually broke contact and began nibbling on his food.

"That's adorable, how you talk to him like that." Token spoke, leaning against my open door frame waiting for me to finish. I slam the cage shut and stare at Token before getting up and making my way out with him to his car.

 _ **[12:17 PM January 3rd, 2016]**_

"YEEHAW, WE GOIN' ON A ROAD TRIP!" Clyde shouted at full volume inside the car. We had just pulled into the gas station, and Token was filling up the tank from outside.

If I was with any other group of friends, I might have considered taking a nap in the car. But I know these two won't let me do that. They'll be singing stupid songs the entire ride there. When they're not singing, they'll be playing some stupid bullshit like I Spy or Punch Buggy. Which you'd think would be harmless, but not with Token and Clyde. They'd make sure the world knows when they see a slug bug, screaming the words at the top of their lungs. Mostly Clyde, but I've heard some loud ones from Token in the past.

Slugged against the backseat window, I stared out and thought about what was going to go down tonight. If there was anyone I knew, I'd have to talk to them. They'd ask why I was there, how I was doing, what am I planning to do with my life, all the stupid generic bullcrap people pull when they think they're kind of sort of your friend. And if there was anyone I didn't know, I'd have to talk to them too. They'd try to get to know me, ask me where I came from, try to make small talk while they act like they don't care that their partner is making out with some guy across the room because they've already gotten too drunked up to control. It's going to suck ass.

I ran my hand across my front pocket to make sure that I had my smokes and lighter with me. They'll make a quick escape route for me if I want to avoid talking to anyone.

I'm not sure why Clyde and Token think it'll be good for me to talk to new people. They know I'm not a social person. I'm better by myself. I can handle very few people, and even then I can only handle them for so long. I'm the classic example of the word "introverted".

The car door opened, followed with Token jumping back into the car. "All filled up, let's get a move on."

"I am so pumped. I haven't gotten drunk off my ass in like a month, I am going to get so hung over but I don't even CARE, I AM SO PUMPED." Clyde started bouncing up and down in the passenger seat, shaking the car.

"You're going to need to drink three times the amount a normal human should drink, you chunk of lard." I spat.

"Hey, I'm only a little chubby! Most of my extra weight is pure muscle, bro!" Clyde flexed. I couldn't say if that's true or not. He does some weight lifting from time to time, though it's usually to impress any chick he happens to be dating at that moment. At the same time, he can be one lazy piece of shit. If it isn't eating or dragging us across town for some dumb bullshit, he'd rather stay in bed all day playing video games. I guess I could relate with him there, though.

The car started back up, and we took off from the gas station and down the road, heading further away from South Park and closer to buttfuck nowhere.

I won't lie, sitting in a car and watching the surrounding areas go by is relaxing and enjoyable. I'd do it more often if I wasn't the one that usually drove. I almost forgot where we were going for a second just to enjoy the view and the silence.

Then the music started blasting Ex's and Oh's. I groaned, immediately being drowned out by Clyde and Token singing along with eagerness. They had the music turned up loud enough to make the car vibrate, and any car that passed us would surely hear the base rumbling from inside their own car.

It's only the third day of the year and I could already tell today was going to be one of the most annoying days of 2016.


	2. Dust

**[13:11 PM January 3rd, 2016]**

We'd been on the road for nearly an hour at this point. Where buildings and concrete roads were during the first half of the trip, trees and snowed-over dirt paths now take their place. Why this party needed to be so far out was beyond my comprehension.

The ride was a lot calmer than I had expected. Token and Clyde's singing hype quickly died down after I shot them a look like I was going to jump out of the moving car and walk back home. They were excited that I gave them the light of day, and so they were doing everything they could to make sure I would change my mind.

Uncharacteristically, I had come up with a couple more pros through the hour long drive. It was my desperate attempt to try and make this evening at least somewhat enjoyable for myself. For starters, because this is Kenny's party, there's bound to be weed aplenty. If I was feeling up to it, I could spend the whole night high. It'd take the edge off.

Another pro is that, if it ended up sucking, it was taking place in a wooded hell land. If I left, nobody could find me. Not easily, anyways. But maybe that's less of a pro and more of an escape option. I'm not good at being optimistic.

"Clyde, are you sure it's just up ahead?" Token spoke up, breaking my train of thought.

"I read the instructions correctly, we _should_ almost be there. I mean, it looks like the place Kenny described..." Clyde trailed off, looking out the window. I'm not sure what he meant by that. Everything's looked the same for about twenty minutes now. Trees and snow.

"You guys never told me what kind of place this is, you know." My comment nearly made Clyde's neck snap from how fast he turned to look at me. I had hardly spoken up since we took off.

"It's one of Kenny's friend's places." Clyde said. "Or, like, it's their parent's cabin or something? I don't know."

"So you mean Kenny found some run down log shack in the middle of the forest, and after he broke into it he thought it'd make a cool party site." I rolled my eyes. There was no way Kenny had a 'friend' who let him throw a party at that kind of place.

"No, it's true!" Clyde was quick to defend. "Trust me, Kenny throws awesome parties. You've never been to one, but he really goes all out. Or as much as he can, anyways."

'All out' he said. I didn't respond, because I couldn't think of any way to rip on the situation at this point. During the ride, I learned that it wasn't just Kenny that would throw these parties. It was him, Stan, and Eric. They all forked into their highschool-rate job salaries to throw "awesome" get-togethers. Kenny is just the one who plans everything and gets the word out.

"Oh, hey. Is that it?" Token reached over and shook Clyde's shoulder, getting his attention.

In the distance, there was what seemed to be a fairly modern cabin in an opening near the road. A couple of cars sat in front of it, one clearly Stan's shitty hybrid.

"Uhhh, hold on let me check." Clyde grabbed for his phone and started swiping through it. "Kenny sent me a picture of it somewhere..." The cabin was quickly approaching as he continued to poke and drag.

"Dude, hurry up. I don't want to stop in front of some strangers house like a weirdo." Regardless, Token still slowed down by the time the cabin came into full view.

Clyde held up his phone in front of him while staring at the house. It took him a solid five seconds before he could confirm that the image on his phone was indeed the same thing he was looking at in real life. And so the car came to a halt.

"Damn, that's bigger than I expected." Token mumbled, opening his door and stepping out. Clyde and I followed suit. The cabin wasn't the biggest thing in the world, but I'd agree with Token, it's a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

"Yup! Kenny scored big time with this. Craig, be glad we took you to this one. It'll probably be one of the best yet!" Clyde closed the passenger door behind him, eagerly eyeing the home up.

Quickly, we closed in on the house in unison. As we passed the two or three cars parked haphazardly in the lawn, a familiar blond flung open the front door from inside.

"Hey bitches!" Kenny threw his arms up in the air as he sauntered out from the doorway. For some reason, it's always weird to see him without his parka on. He hasn't worn it in years, but when he was younger, you'd never catch him dead without it on. Since he grew out of it, he had taken to wearing a bandanna instead. He never liked showing his mouth in front of other people. I never understood why. At least now everybody can understand him.

"Aw man, Kenny! I can already tell this is gonna be so awesome!" Clyde started bouncing up and down in place.

"Yeah, I didn't think it'd be at a place like this. I can't wait." Token added on.

"Oooh, a compliment from Token himself! I'm flattered. Wait until you see how we've set everything up inside." Kenny stepped to the side gesturing towards the open door. Clyde rushed in past Token and I.

As we entered, I took a long gaze over my surroundings. It was spacious, there was a second floor, and the insides matched the outsides of the house. Wooden.

There was a large table in the middle of the foyer with dozens of grocery bags and party supplies on top. In one side of the room, Stan could be seen rearranging a couch while Eric's fat ass sat on top of it. Clearly they were still preparing for the party. Which is when it suddenly hit me that it was only 1 PM.

"Okay, hold on." I stopped in my tracks, a few steps into the place. Kenny walked in from behind me and slammed the door shut. "It's not even dark out yet."

"Keen observation skills." Kenny cooed. He walked over to the table, pulling out bags of chips, pretzels, and other snacks. "Clyde originally was coming here alone. He was going to help set up. Since you two are here also, you can help too!"

"Aww, what?" Token cried. "You know, I thought it was funny that we were leaving so early, but I didn't think it was so you could use us like mules, Clyde." Token, as productive and active as he was (at least compared to Clyde and I), wasn't someone who just helped set up for a big event like this. He pays people to do that.

"No, that wasn't the reason!" Clyde said, almost too quickly. "Okay maybe it was kind of, but it didn't make sense for you guys to drive out for an hour to drop me off just so you'd have to turn around to come back an hour later!"

"Don't worry, there's only a few things we need to do. The party starts at two, and there's only half an hour left until then. We just need to set up the table and make sure we lock the doors that we don't want people getting into. Stan and I already arranged most of the furniture." Kenny was still unbagging things.

After hearing his name, Stan walked up and gave us three a stare. "Craig's here?" I couldn't tell if Stan was scowling or if that's just his normal face. He smiles almost as much as me, which is to say never at all. The only difference between us was that he looked perpetually pissed off at everything and everyone. A chronic bitch-face.

Kenny stopped what he was doing and jumped in-between him and I, almost as if we were going to kill each other through the two words Stan said to me. I don't blame him. Stan and I aren't exactly the best of friends. But I'm not in the mood to fight.

"Yes, he's here, and we're treating him as the guest of honor this evening, okay?"

"What." I spoke up from behind him.

"Do you know how often I ask Clyde to bring you to our parties, Craig?" Kenny looked behind him, still holding his pose between Stan and I, hands out on either side of him.

"All the time, I'm guessing. Clyde's always trying to get me to go to parties with him." I shoot Clyde a look. He shows no remorse.

"And do you know how often you _go_ to said parties?" Kenny continued. I don't have to answer. "That's right. Never. If you're here, and people see you here... could you imagine?" Kenny eases up his stance. Stan is as confused as I am.

"What am I supposed to be imagining, exactly?" I asked.

"Seriously? _Dude_ , if people see YOU at a party, at _our_ party, it will go down in history books." Kenny was making hand gestures that didn't really match up with what he was saying. "Clyde is right. This party is going to be amazing, practically breath-taking."

"Because Craig is here." Stan looked like he didn't believe the words that were coming out of Kenny right now. I was on the same boat.

"Yes! If Craig is here, it MUST mean it's a great party!" Kenny took a step over to me, shoving his way in-between Token and I, and wrapped an arm around my back. My first instinct was to move away, but then I remembered that it was Kenny who I was dealing with. There was no escape.

"Kenny, knock it off. Nobody's going to give a shit that Craig's here." Eric came walking up. Ah, the deafening pterodactyl screech that is Eric Cartman's voice. Everyone thought he'd grow out of his bizarre child voice when he got older, but it never did. There wasn't much to say about his voice, other than that tonight would be ten times better if he didn't speak in my general direction again.

"Are you kidding? He's _him_." Kenny shook me in his hold. I pushed away from him, growing tired of what he was pulling here.

"What do you mean by that?" I was growing agitated.

"You're like, one of the coolest kids in South Park. You're going to make this party 100% cooler just by standing around!" Kenny and his endless flattery couldn't fool me. I felt like there was something up.

"Are you trying to pull something here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. His starry-eyed face quickly dropped into one of confusion. Then he pulled back into a smile.

"The only thing I'm pulling here is the greatest party of all time, thanks to your presence!" He bowed towards me.

"Kenny, you're a dork." Token spoke up, finally. His words released any tension in the room, as well as any lingering obligation to talk to Kenny and his poor choice in childhood friends.

I walked passed everyone and started to work through the bags of food and paper plates in attempt to forget everything that just took place. But I couldn't get thought out that Kenny had something planned that I didn't know about. Which made me immediately skeptical of Clyde as well. Maybe even Token.

Thoughts quickly dissolved as everyone else joined in to help set the table up, and the room started to fill with their working chit-chat.

The past ten minutes had already been a mental strain for me. Trying to be civil was harder when it involved Kenny, Stan, and Eric. I couldn't imagine what the rest of the night was going to be like, when more people start to show up.

 **[14:47 PM January 3rd, 2016]**

After fixing up the table and helping myself to a can of soda or two, I had wandered off into a living room of some sort with Clyde and Token (and subsequently Kenny) and hung out for about an hour. When Kenny was talking to us, he had gotten so caught up in just generally being him that he had almost forgot to ask us for our "party fee". It's only two dollars, but if I wasn't trying to be a little more friendly this evening, I would have ripped the two bucks in half in front of him.

After that, a good amount of people started to show up, and Kenny went to go stand outside as people pulled up. There were a couple of early birds like ourselves that showed up not much sooner after we did. Kyle was one of them, making Stan's group complete once more.

I let out a sigh as I could hear car doors closing from outside and more and more voices slowly filling the house as the minutes went on. I assumed there was already a sizable crowd in the foyer, and it'd only grow as it got darker outside. I took a sip of soda.

"Craig, I really want to say thank you. I'm so excited that I got you to come along for once." Clyde spoke up. I gave him a nod and nothing more. I'll punch him and I'll call him names, but he's my friend. If this is what'll define his new year, I won't piss on his mood while we're here. I'll do that afterwards.

"I'm honestly kind of hoping there's some sort of alter ego party animal Craig that's inside of you. I mean, you never go to parties, so you never know..." Token said.

"The most life you'll see from me tonight is when I get up from this couch to go take a piss." I gave it to Token straight. I wasn't sure if I was going to be sitting _here_ all night, because that's just asking for people to sit down next to me and interrogate my life choices. I wouldn't be doing much other than standing around until it was dark enough to see the meteor showers, though.

"Can you at least try to make a friend? Or something?" Token sounded like he was about to get onto his knees. He keeps asking me to 'make a friend' or to 'socialize a little bit.' He sounds like my mom when I was eight.

"I was sort of under the assumption that most of the people here tonight were going to be people from our school." I said. I know Clyde mentioned there would be others, but how many people could Kenny possibly know? And just how many of those people could Kenny make drive all the way out here, too.

"Actually, it's about half and half." Clyde stepped in.

"Where the hell is this other 'half' coming from?" I scowled. "I mean, I know Kenny draws in a lot of attention to himself, but I don't think he's drawing in people all the way from other towns."

"Him and his crew have been looking into moving out and roommating with each other in another town. They've been looking for a few weeks now, and I guess they've all made some new friends."

Kenny. And the other three. Kenny, Stan, Eric, and Kyle. Moving out of South Park. "Hopefully this is a going away party." I thought out loud.

Clyde nudged my shoulder. "They aren't going anywhere until the school year is over, dumbass." Yeah, but I can still dream.

"But Craig, that means half of the people here aren't going to know you. I'm sure you can bare to talk to _one_ person. You probably won't even ever see them again." Token drew back the topic.

"Okay here. How about this." I said. Token and Clyde both leaned in to hear what I was going to say. "If I end up talking to someone, I end up talking to someone. I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to somebody, but if somebody decides to talk to me, maybe I'll answer."

This answer pulled smiles onto both of their faces, so I had to stop them before they got any ideas. "If I catch any of you trying to get people to talk to me, I swear I will stick them in a freezer, wait until they are frozen solid, then sharpen them down to a point and stab you both with them." Their faces quickly changed at the thought of that scenario.

"I CAN'T WAIT FOR CRAIG TO maybe TALK TO SOMEONE! Our little boy is growing up, Token." Clyde wiped a fake tear from his eye.

All I had to do is hope that Kenny wasn't alerting everyone of my presence, and I would be fine for a couple more hours, at least.

 **[17:02 PM January 3rd, 2016]**

For the past two hours, I had been narrowly avoiding talking to people. I'm sure it seemed like I was over exaggerating when it came to talking to people, but really I'd rather stab my eyes out than have to look at my schoolmates who purposefully dressed a tad bit skimpier because of this event.

So far, nobody had noticed me. That, or nobody cared that I was here. Either was fine with me. Both, even. Of course, this stealth run had to crash down eventually, it was practically inevitable in a place like this. Even skimming the lesser populated rooms and sticking towards the second floor wouldn't keep me away forever.

Kenny came walking up, his arm lugged around the shoulders of someone I didn't recognize. I thought for a second that it could have been a new girlfriend of his, but she looked too out of his league.

"Craiiiiig!" He called out, mere feet away from me. "I want you to meet one of my most recent friends!" He approached me with said friend. Kenny had clearly been drinking already. How much, I wasn't sure. All I know is that he's sort of a lightweight.

I did nothing but stare at his shameless display. Three hours since the party started and he's drunk. I almost feel bad for his new 'friend.'

"Her name is... uh..." He looks at the girl. "I forgot.

"That's because I never told you." She said. Props to her.

"Well can you tell me now? Because I'd love to know it. And I'm sure my good pal Craig here does, too." He leans more of his weight onto her. For a moment the girl looks visibly uncomfortable, then she pushes him away from her and walks off, not another word said.

"Kenny, what are you doing." I ask. Kenny's never had a girl run away from him. Well, maybe a few times. But most of the time he's pretty decent at picking up chicks. He also has no reason to introduce anyone to me.

"What do you mean, Craigy? Just havin' a good time." He shoots me a double pistol.

I thought things over for a second, and my first thought reeled back to my speculations from earlier. That Kenny was trying to do something here.

"Did Clyde set you up to something?" I felt like Clyde and Token could have tried to get Kenny to help hook me up with someone. It sounds like them, and it definitely has happened in the past.

"That's confidential, bro." He winks.

"That just makes it sound like you _are_ up to something."

"So what if I am?"

"So what if I tell you to fuck off?" I really hoped that Clyde and Token didn't put him up to something stupid. They were already well aware that tonight was not something I was going to enjoy. That would just be making this whole thing worse.

"Look, Craig," Kenny reached out towards me, but I sidestepped his effort. "You gotta loosen up. Live life a little more. Have fun!"

"You know what's fun to me?" I asked.

"What's that?"

"Sitting at home playing video games pretending none of these people exist. That is fun to me. That is my life. Playing with my guinea pig and taking pictures of him. That's how I have fun. Talking to people isn't going to 'loosen me up.' Because I don't care. I don't. Care. About. People." I might have sounded too harsh there. I was annoyed, cranky, and overall just irritated.

Kenny stared at me for a second like he was trying to process what I had just said. Then he tried to reach for me again, to which I avoided a second time. He's always too touchy feely for my tastes, especially when he's drunk.

"I care about you, bro. Clyde and Token do, too. We just want you to find someone cool you can make out with or something, y'know? Or whatever the Craig-equivalent of that is. Holding hands? Petting a cool dog? Wouldn't that be awesome?" Kenny is being stupid, and so are my friends.

I opened up my mouth as if I had something to say, but then I closed it. I thought about going on a rant about how what he's doing is stupid, but that wouldn't get me anywhere. So instead I decided to end this before it got too real. "No, fuck you. I'm not going to have this talk with you."

I pushed him aside and stormed off before his wasted ass could realize I left. I figured now was a good of a time as any to take a smoke break. I bee-lined for the back entrance to a very specific place, one I found while roaming around earlier before people really got a chance to rub themselves into every nook and cranny of this cabin.

I made my way upstairs and towards the back of the house, reaching a door that lead out into a balcony.

It felt rickety and poorly made, almost like it was made by someone who had no part in this cabin before. Or had any part in basic structural knowledge. It was like it could fall at any moment. But right now I could care less.

Closing the door without looking behind me, I walked up to the railing and rested my arms on it in a jiffy. It was nearly night time now. I was so caught up in trying to avoid people that I forgot that this was a meteor shower party. Soon everybody would be outside staring awkwardly up into the sky.

I let out a huff, my breath quickly turning to vapor in front of me. It's in the single digits tonight, completely clear outside. I was sure half of the idiots at the party would be getting frostbite by the night's end. Too drunk or stoned to bother keeping warm while they're outside in nearly 0 degrees.

Looking over the railing down to the ground below, I ran a hand over my pant's pocket and grabbed my lighter and box of smokes. Then I noticed the box felt unusually light.

I opened it up and realized that there were none left. For a moment I was confused, but then my mood turned sour. I was an idiot. I had grabbed an empty box on accident. I never throw away my garbage in my room, so I had nobody to blame but myself. But I was still angry.

I tossed the box out over the edge and groaned the words "god damn it," sinking down a bit and resting my head on the railing. Now the only way I could relax was if I went to find where the weed was at, which meant talking to people. I would have done it if I wasn't already fed up with everybody here already.

I stayed like this for a good minute before I looked up again. For some reason I expected everything around me to change, like all of this was just some stupid daydream. I know I was being a bit too dramatic at this point, but I couldn't help it.

I thought about going back inside and bracing the horrors again, but I suddenly stiffened when I felt a very light tap on my shoulder.

I stood, hunching over the railing for a moment. I expected a voice, but got none. So I decided to turn around and see if it wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me. And it was definitely not my mind. A stranger stood in front of me.

Immediately this stranger was more appealing than any other I've seen tonight, for one solid reason. He had a shaky hand held out. In it, a cigarette. At the same time, all color drained from me when I knew he was probably standing by the door the entire time watching me have a small fit.

I figured this guy of all the others at this party tonight deserved some genuine gratitude from me. "Thanks." I said, taking the cigarette from his hand and turning back around without getting another glance at him. With my back turned to him, I pulled my lighter back out and lit it.

I was preparing myself for what he probably thought was an invitation to a conversation, but after about thirty seconds, it never came. Instead, from what I could see out of the corner of my eye, he had rested on the railing on the far side from me.

I sunk back down and took in the quietness as much as I could before I felt obligated to get back to the heart of the commotion. For a few, it was nice. Then there was a repetitive clicking noise along with sounds of struggle coming from the other side of the balcony. So I glanced over.

The stranger was struggling with a lighter, trying to light his own cigarette. He looked like he was probably pretty new to smoking. So much that he couldn't even use a lighter properly.

The jackass part of me wanted to stay put and listen to him struggle some more, but the small sliver that was my nice side remembered it was only sixty seconds ago that he gave me a smoke without saying a word. So I made my way over to him.

Parroting his generosity, I tapped him on the shoulder. This was a mistake, because he nearly jumped off the balcony in fear.

He let out a loud gasp and swung around to look at me, clutching a lighter in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

I almost questioned why he just acted like I stabbed him, but instead just held out my lighter and lit it in front of him. He flinched at the action, but after inspecting it, he realized what I was offering, and hesitantly held his smoke to the flame, lighting it.

He only nodded his head in appreciation. His face looked more worried and skeptical than thankful. He turned back around and went back to minding his own business. And I did the same.

 **[18:25 PM January 3rd, 2016]**

An hour slipped by quickly after that. I didn't notice just how tense I was until I took a smoke break. After I was done, I went to find Clyde and Token and chatted them up for a bit. Clyde stayed true to his vow from earlier today, and was completely plastered. Token, on the other hand, hadn't touched alcohol all night. He was the one driving us, after all. Even then, he never was one to drink. He's too afraid he'd get in trouble for drinking under aged.

By now I was outside again, but instead of standing on a wooden death contraption, I was resting against a tree next to my aforementioned friends.

"What is even the _point_ of going to a party if you're not gonna DRINK AT ALL!" Clyde was shaking Token's shoulder, slurring his words. Token and I had to keep him away from any more drinks, because he was going to end up hurting himself in the long run.

"I sort of have to drive us home, dude." Token answered, letting Clyde do his thing. He must have been used to this. I wondered just how often he and Clyde went to parties together.

"OH! Oh, oh oh! If you're offering to drive us home," Clyde spat out.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who took you here."

"Can you drive someone else back too? I met a pretty lady tonight~ She's awesome, you should see her tits." Clyde was a mess. Part of me feels like the 'pretty lady' he met was just a coat rack that he tried to sex up.

"Sorry, Clyde. I'm pretty sure whoever she is, she has her own ride." Token wasn't one to drive around people unless he knew them. Probably didn't want to be some stranger's chauffeur.

Clyde started whining, and I did the best I could at trying to block it out. I was too busy staring up at the night sky like everybody else was. Well, maybe not everybody. There were some people who thought this train wreck of a party was dreamy enough to want to make out with each other in the middle of a hundred other people. And some too drunk to be able to look up without puking. But I would admit- it might have been worth coming down here and baring six hours of hell, because the night sky really was a lot clearer.

Sometimes I would forget just how much I loved the idea of space. Every dot in the sky is just another sun, only they're so far out that our brains can't even process just how far they are. Yet it's still dark out, even when there are billions of suns in the sky.

And for some reason we call meteoroids 'shooting stars'. I never got that. If a star were to take the meteorite's place, we'd all be dead. I guess it's just because they _look_ like all of the other dots in the sky. That was never an answer I accepted, though. Like an asshole, I'd usually correct someone if they said the words 'shooting' and 'star' when they were talking about meteor showers.

It almost pained my annoyingly aloof ego to think that I'd totally drive back out here in the future, just to see all of the stars I can't see back in South Park. That was something I wouldn't let Clyde or Token know, though. I'd never hear the end of it, and that'd just be another excuse for them to try and bring me to other places.

I was too hard on Clyde and Token tonight. I felt like I should have apologized for complaining so much, but that wasn't in my nature. They knew when I was sorry for something, even without saying it. So I didn't need to. I could tell Token knew what I was thinking to some degree, because I could hear his empty laugh as he saw me stare into the night.

Of course, the second Token said that we should get going soon, I was never more on board with one of Token's suggestions. It was a school night, and staying up late wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have a job right afterwards. So as quickly as I became lost in thought thinking about space, I got up and had to help Token pull Clyde to his feet.

"Come on, buddy." Token huffed, carrying half of his weight, while I the other. We started to shuffle towards the mile-long row of cars. One of the few good things that came out of getting here so early was that we didn't have to park at the end of a car conga line.

"But wait! What about the pretty lady?" Clyde asked. Token and I both rolled our eyes.

"Clyde-" Token started, but I quickly cut him off.

"The lady's dead and her dying words were 'Don't bury me in the same breathing space as Clyde Donovan.'"

Clyde shot a look at me. A mix of shock and disbelief ran though his face. And then he started crying.

"Oh, great, Craig. Now we have to deal with this the entire way home." Token groaned.

"WHY DO THE HOT DIE SO YOUNG?!" Clyde wailed out as we approached the car. I was hoping we could get him inside before he started making too much noise, because I knew it was just going to attract attention. And that it did.

Kenny had stumbled his way over to us, pushing people aside from the crowd in front of the cabin.

"You guys are going already?" Kenny had a bottle in his hand, still keeping his chain going.

"I'm surprised more people haven't already left. Tomorrow's Monday." Token said as he urged Clyde into the backseat of the car.

"But it only just got dark out!" Kenny continued.

"No, it's been dark for about two hours now." I said.

"Oh, right. Time flies when you're having fun. Not that you'd know."

"You're right. I wouldn't know, because I don't like fun." I retorted. I was being somewhat sarcastic, but I'm also a pretty bland person who thinks staring at a toaster while it toasts bread is exciting.

Token hopped into the driver seat and closed the door, making it apparent that he didn't want to bother with Kenny right now. Who would, while he's drunk? Who would in general?

"By the way, Craig," I could practically feel the toothy grin he was giving me from behind his bandanna. "Did you get any action tonight?"

If there were any expression on my face at that time, it flat-lined. I gave him a solid "No."

"Whaaaaat? There were like, tons of people trying to talk to you tonight."

"No there weren't. Nobody gave a shit I was here." I said, making my way around the car to the passenger side. Kenny followed.

"Lots of people were calling your name all night. You just walked past them and ducked into empty rooms like some sort of antisocial troll."

Were they really? I hadn't noticed if they did. I guess I was too caught up in the act of trying to avoid people to actually notice what was going on.

"Hmm. Didn't care enough to pay attention." I grabbed the door handle.

"Do you know how many sacrifices I made tonight? One of the chicks I sent to talk to you was a MODEL. Do you know how hot she was?" I didn't care. God did I not care. I was already tensing up again. I hated the fact that he thought he had to send people over to me to try and get me to hook up. "I almost thought you wanted guys instead with out much you were dodging any sort of interaction with another gal. I mean, there some pretty hot guys at the party too. If I had known I would have gotten them to-"

I pulled open the door. "Kenny?" I look back at him, giving him a very serious stare.

"Uh... yeah?" He looked like I was going to hit him. Which, if I was more angry, I would have.

"Fuck. Off." I stepped into the car without another word and slammed the door shut. He looked at me through the window, a look of failure on his face. That aggravated me. The fact that he felt like he failed in trying to get me interested in strangers I could care less about.

Token turned his head towards me. I was staring straight forward, any sort of half-assed contentedness from earlier completely stripped from me as soon as Kenny decided he wanted one last chat. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he kept to himself instead. So he started up the car.

I could only rely on the sounds of Clyde snoring in the back seat and the snow shuffling beneath the car to calm me.

 **[18:59 PM January 3rd, 2016]**

The ride back home was nice and quiet. Or at least, I wanted to believe it would be. About ten minutes after we took off, we ran into some 'road complications' as Token called it.

Because we live up in the mountains, often times we find ourselves on very narrow roads, with cliffs and heights on either side. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, just like it was on the way here. On our way here, though, we didn't run into any traffic.

"Dude, this guy is going like five miles an hour!" Token wasn't one to become restless. But we had been behind a car that had barely been moving for about ten minutes now.

"He's barely doing five. I could crawl faster than that." I added. Token shook his head in response.

It only took him another minute before Token tried honking his horn at the car. The car immediately stopped in the middle of the road for a split second as a reaction, almost causing a fender bump. The car started roll along again shortly after that, at a swift speed of a mile an hour.

"The fuck is wrong with him!" Token exclaimed.

"Wow, Token. I never expected you to be the angry driver type." I idly messed around on my phone, waiting for whatever was happening to finally end.

"My anger is justified!" Token gripped the wheel of the car. I let out a dry chuckle.

Token, finally fed up, said "Alright, asshole. Why don't you crawl up to the car in front of us and ask him what his deal is."

I stopped tapping away at my phone and looked at him. "What? Why me?"

"Because I'm not going to leave the car out in the middle of the road unattended, and Clyde's passed out in the back seat."

I wanted to protest, but there wasn't any point. If I wanted to get home in time to wake up in the morning, this was something that had to be done. So I took a quiet minute to narrow my eyes at Token before opening the door. We were moving at a pace so slow, he didn't need to stop for me to get out.

Immediately I recognized this as a terrible idea, shoving my hands in the front pockets of my pants. I didn't bother grabbing my coat because I wasn't planning on being outside for long. It was even colder than it was when we left.

I stomped my way around and past Token's car, followed up by the one in front of his only a foot or two ahead. The car was a small, green civic of some sort. The windows were almost on an illegal level of tinted. Combined with the tint and no other light except for Token's headlights, I couldn't even see if there was anybody in the car.

I stared directly into the driver's window, slowly shuffling along with it's speed. When they didn't stop, I figured whoever was inside didn't realize I was right outside their window. So I knocked on the glass.

A muffled but audible shout of fear could be heard from in the car. The car jerked to a halt once more.

Whoever the driver was, they were taking their sweet time trying to decide what to do. I felt like they were going to start speeding away, for some reason. Instead, the window slowly rolled down until it reached about half way. Not enough to see who was inside without a flashlight. I noticed that the car's lights weren't on, either.

"You know, it's kind of dangerous to be driving on a snowy cliff side at night without any headlights on." I was planning on being more angry with the guy, but after my cool down time in the car from when we left, I didn't have the energy.

I didn't get a response right away, so I continued.

"I don't know if you noticed or not, but we've been driving behind you for about fifteen minutes now, and we'd like to get home before Summer rolls around. So if you could hurry it along..."

"I have no idea where I'm going." The person inside mumbled. They said it like a statement, but it sounded like it was a question. Either way, they sounded freaked out.

"Uh..." I looked around. There's only one road, and there's no turns for miles. "There's not much way to go other than forward." The road is too narrow to do a U-ie, and even then it was poorly made and too close to the cliff side. Trying to fit two cars next to each other on it was asking for an accident.

I only received sounds of conflict and struggle. I almost wondered if the guy at the wheel was hurt or injured.

"Are you okay?" Only after I said it did it sound like I was being forced to talk to him. Which I sort of was, in a way. It didn't sound like I meant it. I don't think I did, either.

"My parents are gonna kill me..." His voice sounded strained, like he was talking through his teeth. "If I don't get home on time, oh Jesus! I'm so stupid, why did I come out here?"

"I don't recall asking you for a story. Where are you trying to go?"

"Some town I've never been to before, I don't know!" His breathing was jagged at this point. If the window were rolled down any further, I was sure I'd see him hyperventilating in place.

"And you don't know where you're going?"

"That's what I just said." His voice quickly changed tone. He sounded critical. I almost felt offended.

I sighed, already having dealt with too much today. "If you tell me the name of the town, I'm pretty sure I can give you directions." As much as I wanted to cuss this guy out for acting strange, I wanted to get out of the cold even more. I had guessed trying to be civil and nice would help things move along, but I guessed wrong.

"South Park." He said those words with such urgency, I barely keyed in on what he said. Who was trying to go to South Park? Nobody knows what or where South Park is unless they've lived in it to begin with.

"Are you somebody from my school? Are you playing a prank or something?" I blurted out before I had a chance to think about what I was saying.

"What? No!" he shrieked.

"Why the hell are you going to South Park?" I asked.

"If I tell you, you might try and- and hunt me down! And my family, too!" he was nearly stumbling over his own words.

"What?"

"How do I know you're not an assassin hired to kill me and everyone I know?!" I could hear things being shuffled around in the car.

"If I was hired to kill you, I wouldn't be making small talk with you on the side of a fucking cliff." I tugged down on my hat, trying to refrain from just flipping him off and spending the rest of my life in Token's car.

He was silent after I said that. I wasn't sure if he was thinking through what I said, or if he had keeled over from a stress heart attack.

I started wondering what this would have turned into if Token came out instead. For a change of pace, I wasn't the grumpiest one in that car, considering the circumstances. Token's nice, but his angry side is a sight to behold. It might have been better that he sent me, the more I thought about it. He probably would have thrown the guy off the cliff by now. Though I'm not too far behind, honestly.

"You're from the party." he finally spoke up, almost all traces of anxiety in his voice gone. This guy was at Kenny's party?

"Yes?" I answered, with some hesitation. I made an effort not to talk to anybody from the party unless I knew them. All that would come of it was that I'd get into shit I didn't want to be involved in. Like what's happening right now.

"Are you from South Park?" he asked. I thought it was pretty clear that I was.

"Let's just... stick to the subject at hand here." I _did not_ want to get sucked into friendly chitchat right now. I'm standing out here freezing my ass off trying to convince someone I'm not an assassin. I've already taken things too far.

"This is the subject at hand." There was that tone again. I can't tell if he wants help or if he wants a punch to the face.

"Why." I asked.

"My family just moved there. Are you driving there? Is there someone else in the car with you? Wait, no. There is. The car was still moving when you knocked on my window." He was rambling to himself. Whoever this guy was, I was not looking forward to seeing him in town. He sounded like a nutcase, which meant he'd fit right in. I didn't like that.

"Yes, we're driving there. Or, we were, until you decided to play turtle with your car." I scowled. I would have crossed my arms if it didn't mean I had to take my hands out from my pocket. At this rate I was going to get frostbite.

"Can you give me directions?"

"Pretty sure if you just keep going down the road you'll see a sign at some point." I sighed, finally getting somewhere in my efforts.

"But what if I make the wrong turn? What if I end up driving forever until I run out of gas! Or what if I don't run out of gas but I end up somewhere where I shouldn't be? Like Florida?! I don't want to go to Florida, it's too humid, man!" Back to freaking out. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I don't know every turn by heart. What the fuck do you want me to do, drive you there?" I was being sarcastic, but I don't think he took it that way.

"What? What about the other people in your car! Wait is there more than one? What about them?!" I'm at that point. The point of wanting to throw this guy off the cliff. The only thing stopping me from throwing the entire car off of this cliff is the fact that I don't have supernatural strength.

"I was _joking._ " I growled. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to keep it cool, but it was really hard to with this guy. "Look. I'm freezing my ass off here. I want to get back home, and the only way to do that without walking for a day in the snow is to get you going."

Another moment of silence. I was tempted, at this point, to pull out my phone and flash a light into his car so I could see what he looked like. But I decided against it. Not because it was a stupid idea, but because he'd probably get an anxiety attack from it.

Also because the car door opened, and he stepped out.

He was short, his hair looked like a yellow rat's nest, and he was bundled up in a sweater and scarf. None of which concerned me. Something that did catch my attention, though, was that this was the same guy who I met on the balcony at the party. Anger drained from my face only for confusion to replace it.

He seemed pretty decent back at the party. A bit shaky, but not overly weird. And now he was... this. I couldn't speak up just because of how little I expected him of all people to step out.

He looked like he was about to say something before turning his attention to Token closing his door and walking up to the two of us. I forgot that he was still in there. I've been out here for ten minutes now trying to get this guy to move, and I've somehow made the situation even worse.

"What's going on here?" Token demanded.

"This is another person from the party. Right?" The stranger looked up at me. He was talking to me casually like we've talked before. Even if we technically did, to some degree, I didn't feel comfortable with that.

"Yeah. You were there? Are you a friend of Kenny's?" Token said.

"Oh, uh... yeah." He didn't sound too sure of himself.

"Cool, cool." Token trailed off for a moment. "Craig, why are we all standing out here?" He looked at me.

I shook my head. "I was trying to-"

"He's going to drive me home." The stranger cut me off. What?

"What?" Token and I said in unison.

"Dude, how did that happen?" Token gave me a look. I wasn't too sure what it meant. Probably something along the lines of a 'you never talk to anybody and now you're driving some random guy home?' look.

"I didn't- I'm not..." I couldn't formulate a full sentence, for some reason. I was noticeably flustered, and I had no clue what was going on.

"I know I told you to get him moving, but I didn't mean you had to offer him a ride home." Token didn't look as annoyed. He looked more amused. "But I won't stop you. It's good to see you're making friends. I'll catch you later." Token walked back to his car and got in before I could protest.

This is what Token wanted. He waited for me to talk to somebody from the party just so he could say I made a friend. I don't even know this guy's name.

Without saying a word I stomped up to Token's car and tried to open up his door, but he had locked it from the inside. He gave me a calm, evil little smile. I couldn't believe what was happening right now.

I shot a look back at the rat haired blond, who was standing by his car, waiting for me. I seared in place for a moment, then figured there was no way I was getting out of this. So I accepted defeat.

I turned back towards the other car, forgetting that I had a vice grip on the door handle of Token's car, and nearly tripped walking back over to the stranger. I couldn't tell if I was more angry or somewhat humiliated by everything that happened in the past minute. Maybe even both.

When I approached him, he made no hesitation to make his way around the car and got in on the passenger side. I assumed this was signal to hop into the front seat. So I did.

I sat down and closed the door.

The car was compact and unusual. I felt weird being in the front seat of someone else's car. It was worse when I realized that the car was filled to the brim with charms and bobble heads. The dashboard was littered with objects that looked like they were found on the side of a street. There were even some stickers stuck to the insides of the doors. And to top it off, the entire car smelled like coffee. Being in this car was unnerving.

"Why am I doing this." I asked. I'm not sure if I asked it to myself or to the blond.

"Because you offered." he said.

I actually didn't offer at all. Even if I wasn't joking when I said it, it still wasn't an offer. But I didn't feel like arguing. Well, actually, I did. However, my body didn't. I was exhausted. So I gripped the wheel without another word and took off down the road.

I really needed to stop letting myself pulled into these situations.


End file.
